There was a great article written by Krista Holmes, CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating that discussed the difference between forced eating and aligned eating. If we feel forced to eat a certain way or avoid certain foods, it often backfires. Have you ever noticed that when someone tells you not to do something, you kind of want to do it anyway? The inner rebel wants to come out to play! Have you ever tried to force yourself to not eat something and for some reason you think and obsess about those foods more than when you didn’t put restrictions on yourself? It is not that you lack will power and strength to avoid these foods, its just that whatever we restrict we express. This is why diet mentality fails us repeatedly.
In my current 30-Day Metabolic Shake Up group coaching program, we recently discussed giving ourselves permission to make certain foods that we struggle to stay away from, “on path” versus “off path.” If you told me that I couldn’t eat chocolate, I’d respond with “Not happening!” I have had a clients tell me over the years that if I told them they couldn’t drink coffee, they’d leave! Another client comes to mind, that can’t stay away from his love for chips and would rather embrace his “chip pockets” (AKA love handles) than give up his chips! A loyal and long-term client of mine chose to make peace with her wine consumption because she simply didn’t want to give it up.
There are certain foods for each of us that we are just not willing to break up with and I am here to tell you THAT IS OKAY! Why force yourself to stop doing something or eating something that brings you joy, pleasure and satisfaction and that you simply love?
If you choose or would like to take a pause on certain foods to see if they make a difference in how you feel than great, experiment. If you notice they make you ill, or trigger your symptoms, then it may not be worth it for you to have those foods. But if you repeatedly struggle to keep your soul food out of your diet then stop fighting yourself. Its not serving you to be in battle with yourself and that food.
As you explore what you want your ideal relationship with food to be, you need to be on board with the decisions you make for yourself and your body. As Krista Holmes, states so perfectly in her article, “the degree to which you’re fighting yourself and your choices will be the degree to which your dreams and goals with food, body, and life will remain out of reach.”
When you are in alignment with your food choices and are making the conscious decisions as to what you desire to have as part of your vast nutritional repertoire, you get to be in the driver’s seat about what you want to eat. This is freedom eating!
People often get scared that they’ll binge and overindulge if they have free reign with food, but in my experience, when we aren’t labeling it “bad”, restricting, sneaking it, feeling like we’re cheating, and forcing it to not be in the diet, we often keep that food of choice moderate, an occasional enjoyment. When we choose to eat it consciously, presently and be in the experience of enjoying it, and if it is in alignment with what we would choose for ourselves, then it wont carry so much weight and pressure.
There is so much negation around food – bad food, toxic food, inflammatory food, fat food, and when we eat those labels, we feel like we are bad people; that we are failing, that we’re doing something wrong. Whatever you choose to keep in your diet, switch the language, change the label, delete the inner negative chatter and toxic beliefs you have had around this food. Make peace with your choice to have it and enjoy it in the moments you want to.
Stop forcing yourself to restrict certain foods that you truthfully don’t want to give up. If it hasn’t worked no matter how many times you have tried, then choose a different way of embracing and accepting it. The wisdom is discovering how you want to align yourself with your food choices and create the kind of relationship with food and body you truly desire.
Yours in health & vitality,
Amy
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